Today, I learned something powerful—especially as a man:
You should never feel less of yourself simply because you can’t afford to give a woman everything she wants.
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A brother who has lived in the UK shared an insight that truly struck me. He spoke about how women over there approach relationships with a mindset that differs greatly from what we often see here in Africa.
In many foreign relationships, it’s not always about the man carrying all the weight. It’s about partnership—two people coming together to build, support, and grow. Over there, a man doesn’t need to have millions in his account before thinking about settling down. They understand that love isn’t a financial contract. It’s about teamwork.
Here’s a true-life story he shared:
“In my first year in the UK, I lived in a big apartment with six other flatmates—Spanish, Latvian, Indian-British, Canadian, and two Polish (a guy and a girl) apart from myself.
A few months in, the two Polish flatmates started dating. They were just 19 years old and didn’t come from wealthy families, so they both worked to support their living. But what was striking was how they handled their relationship.
They planned their finances together. When bills were tight, they explained things together. When they talked about goals, it was always, ‘We are saving,’ or ‘We’re looking for another apartment.’ They earned little because of their age, but they never complained—just planned and moved forward. It was always about ‘We’ and ‘Our’. They were truly invested.
Then there was the Spanish guy, 23, dating an Indian girl who owned a car. She often came to pick him up, even though they worked at the same place. She never made him feel less for not owning a car. They traveled together across countries and always pulled resources to make it work. He didn’t fund any trip alone—it was shared.”
Now, contrast that with what’s common in our own society. A lot of our women are still shouting “A man has to do this…” as if love is all about financial provision. That mindset is draining many good men, making them feel unworthy or inadequate.
But here’s the truth:
Real love is about mutual respect, support, and shared responsibility.
You don’t need to leave the country to experience it. What you need is the right value system—a mindset that values love over status, teamwork over entitlement.
Let’s teach our young ones that relationships are not about transactions but about partnerships.
Because until we do, we’ll keep raising people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing.
Have you ever experienced or observed a relationship built on true partnership? Share your thoughts in the comments. Let’s learn together.